Giving Up on A Creation Or Giving Up on My Self?
Two weeks ago, I had an amazing conversation with a young adult student of mine. We were talking about body surfing, and he was explaining to me how it is done. I said, "Wow, you must be really good at it; it sounds like you know a lot about it." He responded, "I've been doing it since I was seven."
About an hour later, I was giving him a basic drawing lesson; he was getting frustrated and wanted to stop, saying, he would not be able to draw the image he has set his intentions on. I told him to hold on one second, as I showed him the steps to make the drawing easier for him.
As he took in what I had to share, he said, "Wow, you're really good at this; how did you do that? (referring to turning shapes into a figure of a wolf)"
I replied, "Well, I've been doing this since I was seven. I was pretty bad when I first started."
The first art class I took, everyone was older than me- and better. It was easy to feel scared; I felt like I signed up for something I didn't fully understand or know about. I refused to let my mother leave- more than that ( I was a little drama queen) I REFUSED TO DRAW ANYTHING!
The only way I would draw was by having my mother doodle big random shapes that interconnected on my sketch pad; then I would fill in the blanks.
The pictures I rendered were not my creations; I found myself wanting to erase the lines my mother had drawn to better fit my desired drawing, but out of sheer stubbornness, I continued.
In the end, my refusal to create by saying, "I will not do this art class," brought me a few things.
1) It heightened my fear of the activity itself, and the feared activity came to me straight away to be done instead of my desired experience of NOT doing the art class.
2) I realized that to become a decent draftsperson would take some discipline and would need to be learned; because I was constrained by my mother's lines in that first class, I was determined to create my own lines- at the next art class the following Tuesday after school.
3). I didn't stop drawing when my first picture did not look like what I had created in my mind. I did not throw in the towel. In fact, my manifestation to avoid art, ended up bringing me closer to it.
I learned how to master control of my hand.
Then I used my hand, and I noticed that it wobbled a lot.
So then, I started to focus on my breathing.
Taking easy breaths when drawing something eased up on the wobble.
For me, art became a very important meditation- and has been for over a quarter of a century- a practice in devotion to my creations, a reflection of my energy and my joys. And I am doubly blessed, because my fiance happens to enjoy looking at them.
Had I stopped then at that first art class when I was seven, and never drawn again, because I was frustrated and embarrassed that I was not good, I would have been manifesting something strong to universe as well.
I would have been saying, "Universe, don't send me any more opportunities like this again. I'm done. Anything but art!"
If I had not been so afraid of drawing, that statement would have manifested the desired outcome of my mother taking my home.
But we humans are not so simple. We want lots of layers to our experience. We came here to learn, so that's what we're doing!
I spent a lot of time this week thinking about how people create change in their lives. So many people I speak with are focused so hard on manifesting their dreams; they call me and say, "It didn't happen the way I wanted it to happen, so I am putting the Kabosh on my dreams now. I'm so angry that it isn't happening the way I wanted it to. I'm done. I am not going to do what I was so excited to do, because it showed up in a way that hurt me."
I cannot tell you how often I hear people give up on their dreams, because the method the dreams showed up was not what they anticipated.
When they give up, they are actually giving up on the most important part of the equation: themselves. By giving up when things get challenging or show up in a different way than they anticipated, they say to the universe, "I don't believe in my Self enough to create this."
What usually happens then is that I speak to them about passive creating.
Passive creating occurs when we have an idea of what we want, and we say to the universe, "All right universe, bring it over here! I am ready." Then we wait- like someone at a restaurant, for the universe to bring us this delicious five course prix fixe meal, that we ordered.
The trouble is, we usually only give the general outline to the universe.
The other trouble is that in this example, we are not acknowledging that WE are the chefs. If we say, "Universe bring me the best of the best," the universe can do a pretty good job, but we are bound for disappointment if we just sit at the table... waiting for the perfect meal.
We have to take action.
We must remember how important we are as pieces of this universe.
We must remember that we are the chefs; if we do not like what we are creating, we alter the actions we take to create the desired outcome.
To continue to our desired goal, a few things are needed:
1) strong self-esteem and confidence
What is so funny is that these two things are totally and completely linked!
Dopamine is the chemical that actually gives us the sensation of feeling satisfied, rewarded, and pleasured by an experience. Confidence and self-esteem are generally built from experiences that have these characteristics.
Too much dopamine is linked with paranoia and violent behavior, too little, schizophrenia and neuro-degenerative diseases like Parkinson's.
The presence (or lack thereof) can actually make learning something new exciting or boring and painful, and will- believe it or not- influence how easily you remember what you learned.
So when you feel inclined to give up on your manifestations, ask yourself, have a frank conversation with your heart, your body, your mind, and your spirit.
Check in honestly with your self-esteem when it comes to the topic at hand.
Ask yourself if the experience is bringing to light any issues you have about faith and confidence in yourself. Find out where your actual focus is? Is it on what you want? Is it on how you feel about yourself compared to others?
Ask your body if it has ever loved the experience of creating something new.
Be present and accountable in your creations. You are the chef, the waiter, the diner and the restaurant. Show up for your self.
Photo credit: Pure Positive Energy @fb